Chapter Three ~ 2011

Book Two just arrives in the mail, and it is a little smaller than the first but within it's pages are the real me. If there was any doubt of who I am or what I think.... those days are gone! :)

I have many opinions about issues of life, but the main thing that matters to me is my family. I have spent the last couple of years trying to point those I love in the right direction. I have never declared I have arrived or know everything, but one thing for sure in I can stand before God knowing I did my best. My intentions have never been to hurt anyone, I am compelled by God to speak what I believe to be true.

So, with that said I continue on the journey of life. Some love me, and some think I am intolerant, judgmental and uncaring. I have come to a place where I am okay with that.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and it is one of the most difficult days for me emotionally. I no longer have my Mom, Dad, Grandparents or anyone older than me to point me in the right direction. Maybe that is why I feel it is so important to journal what I think and believe. Our days are limited and once we are gone all that is left is others perspective of who they think we are. In my case there will be no doubt...

In honor of my Mom I decided this week to spend a little more time outside in my little garden, and plant some seeds. Although they are natural they are symbolic of the spiritual. As we walk through our lives we can plant weeds or seeds, in either case we will reap some type of harvest. My hope is for the latter, a harvest for Christ to reflect my thankfulness of His sacrifice for me. I am forever grateful to those that have loved me unconditionally and pointed me to the truth in God's Word. We are all in need of a Savior, it's just who do we choose to serve?

Again, as I start this next journal I thank my friends and family for loving me unconditionally and allowing me to be me. :)

Sharing A Family Tradition!

Cooking Chicken and Noodles has been part of our family for a least 7 generations. During our vacation in Big Bear Bonnie and I made the famous dish with the help of Benjamin! Yummy! Of course we couldn't have done it without our taste tester Zack! LOL

My Garden, A Place Of Paradise In The Desert!

Enjoying the day with Manny planting rosemary,herbs, a lovely purple Salvia and bright orange mary golds.

Fresh air and sunshine is just what I needed today!

A Beautiful Day!

It's a beautiful day! Spring is in the air and the desert doesn't feel like it's the desert this morning. :) I opened the blinds to let the sunshine in and my roses are in bloom and the trees have the most lovely green leaves. Most people take that for granted in places like Pasadena.

It reminded me of my Mom, and how she loved her flowers. In fact this particular planter outside my living room window is one she and I would work in together. I would always have the yard work done when she was coming to visit except for this one planter. She loved to sit outside and pull the weeds and trim the flowers.

I never really understood her appreciation for flowers when I was young. But this morning I felt the pleasure she had when I lifted the blinds and saw the different colors of roses.

I miss her everyday, but she left me with an appreciation of Gods beauty in this sometimes dreary world.

So with Gracie basking in the sunshine, Manny and I are on our way to the Nursery to pick out some flowers to plant on this wonderful day God has made for us!

Big Bear Vacation!

Spending time with my family in Big Bear was a delightful time. We took too many pictures to post, but these are the highlights of the week. Cooking with Bonnie was a lot of fun! Playing in the snow, fishing and playing games are memories I will never forget. The most wonderful experience was when Zack told me he enjoyed spending time with me. It is so important as parents to know after raising your children that they will still spend their vacation with you. I love Bonnie and am so thankful for our relationship. Of course, everyone knows how I feel about my boys! LOL Then there's Manny, I am so thankful for his unconditional love for me. It is a wonderful thing to have a husband and companion that "gets me" and allows me to be me. I am blessed beyond words!

Happy Birthday Manny!

Today is a special day! It's Manny's birthday and we are getting ready for vacation. The kids are going to meet us in Big Bear on Tuesday and we have rented a fabulous place! It sleeps 12 and has everything you could wish for.

Today is also the day my Dad passed from death to life, and each April 17th as we celebrate Manny's birthday we think of my Dad and how jealous we are that he got to see the face of Jesus first! :) The hope of salvation through Christ is we will meet again and enjoy eternity together! At that time we will celebrate forever together!

I am so thankful for the gift of salvation and as we celebrated Palm Sunday I was reminded of the sacrifice Christ made for us. Bill Wiese spoke of hell, and it's reality. It shook me to my core when he said many are already there, in a place God never intended for man. However, those that reject Him choose to go there.

He also spoke of those that say "we are all God's children and there are many paths to God" or "I am good so I will go to heaven", and that is false. We will all spend eternity somewhere and God doesn't send us to hell we choose Him or reject Him.

It's all about a relationship with Christ. BIll Wiese also gave the example, if you were invited to someone"s house and they gave directions because there was only one road that led to their street. But you decided all roads lead to his house, you would never get there and would end up somewhere else. Or how we have nerve to show up at the gates of heaven pounding on the door, saying "let me in" only to hear God say "I don't know you", so there is no reason he should let us in. What a sad moment in eternity that would be for any of us.

So, I said all that to say this: God is a God of love, a God who wants us to know him and point others to the truth. We must do this...

My Heart Is Heavy

My heart is set upon you God. Make my path straight and create a clean heart in me that I may follow after your will. That is the prayer of my heart today as I wait for you to speak to me.

The world has so many distractions that it is easy to lose sight of what is important in life. It has been very difficult lately because I know what God expects from me and yet there are those that do not comprehend my heart. Of course, there are those close to me that see what God is showing us for these last days.

As the signs become more clear for the Lord's return I set my heart towards the Lord. I desire to know what He is doing in this world.
Many mock the Lord and the truth of His Word that He is returning, and that saddens my heart.

When I consider the things in life that are most important to me I think of my family.However, I find the words I speak can push them farther from me at times. I want to speak truth, but it comes across as judging. In no way do I want to sound like that. I just want to share the truth as I see it. My values and beliefs are based on scripture so if someone disagrees they can show me in the Bible where I am wrong. If I am wrong I will admit it...

My heart is sad because I know I have pushed people close to me away with my views, but I had to do it. I really feel sad though because they do not see my heart and my desire to point others toward Gods best and away from the secular worldview of what is acceptable.

I hope some day this sadness leaves my heart and I can accept that I am obedient to God and not feel the pain of being rejected my man's opinion of me.

So today I sit in the quiet and wait for the embrace of God to comfort my heart as only He can.